The scene: Nazi concentration camp. A feeble Jewish woman lays on a cot balanced on the thin line that separates life and death. Kneeling on the ground is her older sister holding her hand.
"Yes Betsie?"
"Corrie, when you leave here you must tell them of this place. You must tell them that there is no pit so deep that Christ is not deeper still. They will believe us because of what we have been through. And...Corrie?"
"Yes?"
"The best is yet to be."
*************************************************************
This is one of my all time favorite quotes. Today's sermon in church was on the importance of priorities. God first. Family second. Church and everything else descends below it. It's almost like a row of dominoes...if properly lined up everything will fall in place. I think priorities is another word for having perspective. (I'm ignoring the irony of me writing this when I have homework to do.) But seriously how often have I heard these phrases? Time is as a vapor; it appeareth and vanisheth away. Our times are in His hands. Redeem the time, for the days are evil.
I have been so tired and stressed the past few weeks. I'm determined now to set aside time everyday to be still before God. It seems that the busier I become the more He gets demoted on my priority list. Sad, but true. The past few days have been filled with teaching, homework, financial stresses, discouragement, hope, hunger, papers, exams, planning, making lists and checking boxes. But I'm trying to get where I won't feel as frantic as my life is now. That, like Jesus, I could sleep soundly in a boat in the mist of a storm.
Simply because the best is yet to be.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Gah...
I really need to get more organized. It's terrible how lethargic I have gotten about my responsibilities. My dream job is to teach, but do I have what it takes to manage a classroom of 20+ students when I'm barely scraping by in life right now? I am pretty sure if I continue and do all the work and get high marks, I'll pass my courses...but gosh it will be cutting it close. As of now I've told my friends to not talk to me until this whole thing is all over. I am sleep-deprived, poor, stressed, and my face is breaking out all over which it never has done before. But if there is one thing I have learned it is this: I will never have it altogether. Nor will I ever be perfect. I will do my best, yes, but if I fail to do so I'll try not to beat myself up; instead I'll try to get up, keep going and try harder. The Lord knows I have so much room for improvement, but He's not done with me yet. I have hope that I can get better and become the person I'm meant to be.
My motivation now is the black robe, tassel and red stole hanging on my coat rack. It's the faces of my family staring back at me from my coffee table. It's the friends that have come along side me to cheer me on. Mostly though, its the unknown kids that I dream of someday getting to teach.
My motivation now is the black robe, tassel and red stole hanging on my coat rack. It's the faces of my family staring back at me from my coffee table. It's the friends that have come along side me to cheer me on. Mostly though, its the unknown kids that I dream of someday getting to teach.
Monday, April 13, 2009
To Be Six Again
Found this on a website...sad how much I relate to it.
To Whom It May Concern:
I hereby officially tender my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&M's are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables, and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset. I want to think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Somewhere in my youth I matured and learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation, and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death. I learned of a world where men left their families to go and fight for our country, and returned only to end up living on the streets, begging for their next meal. I learned of a world where children knew how to kill....and did!!
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again. I want to return to the days when reading was fun and music was clean. When television was used to report the news or for family entertainment and not to promote sex, violence, and deceit.
I remember being naive and thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and prettiest seashell I could find. I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills, or where I was going to find money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days of the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.
I want to be 6 again.
To Whom It May Concern:
I hereby officially tender my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&M's are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables, and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset. I want to think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
Somewhere in my youth I matured and learned too much. I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation, and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death. I learned of a world where men left their families to go and fight for our country, and returned only to end up living on the streets, begging for their next meal. I learned of a world where children knew how to kill....and did!!
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again. I want to return to the days when reading was fun and music was clean. When television was used to report the news or for family entertainment and not to promote sex, violence, and deceit.
I remember being naive and thinking that everyone was happy because I was. I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and prettiest seashell I could find. I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills, or where I was going to find money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days of the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.
I want to be 6 again.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Life Continued
Oh. My. Goodness. Has it been over a month since I last wrote here? Shows how insanely crazy my life or *cough* I have become. Regardless the weather finally is getting warmer. My toesies are itching to slip into sandals and flip flops instead of the serious close toe shoes/heels I wear all the time. I want to paint my nails too--a cheery pink or lavender color perhaps. But alas I am sick today and cursed with a sore throat and fever which has mostly left, thank goodness. I can't even rest on a sick day though since I have been typing a 20 page paper all day. The things I want to do...read, decorate, cook, even paint toesies are on hold for this monster called school.
Speaking of which, graduation day is looming on me. I am discovering how easily distracted and stressed I become when uh...I'm stressed. I'm trying (vainly it seems...I should be doing homework now) to be self-disciplined and to remain focused. Too many thoughts compete for attention in my mind and I am waaay to concerned with what other people think of me these days. But the voice, the sweet voice whispers "in all your ways acknowledge me and I shall direct thy paths" and "come unto me all ye who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest". How I need that rest...the kind where you feel as if you could sleep forever and when you do wake up everything is bright, new and full of possibilities?
Speaking of which, graduation day is looming on me. I am discovering how easily distracted and stressed I become when uh...I'm stressed. I'm trying (vainly it seems...I should be doing homework now) to be self-disciplined and to remain focused. Too many thoughts compete for attention in my mind and I am waaay to concerned with what other people think of me these days. But the voice, the sweet voice whispers "in all your ways acknowledge me and I shall direct thy paths" and "come unto me all ye who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest". How I need that rest...the kind where you feel as if you could sleep forever and when you do wake up everything is bright, new and full of possibilities?
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