My life so far...

So this weekend has been quite eventful... er, depending on your definition of that. Yesterday on the way home from work, I stopped by the thrift store to find items to decorate my apartment with. It is becoming a new hobby/obsession for me and I'm thrilled with the way my place is slowly progressing into the home I envision it to be. For I don't want to just have a place to "live in" however long-term or temporary it may be. I really want to make the most of what I have now, instead of waiting for something bigger or better. I want it to reflect my personalities while making it a welcoming place for my friends. I bought a poster today of the Brooklyn bridge that I'll have framed, am looking into painting and/or wallpapering, along with trying to find more pictures, rugs, plants, etc. It's a nice way to take a break from the stresses of school/work.

Speaking of which, it's getting quite busy at work and a part of me prefers it that way since it makes the day go by faster. However, I am more tired by the time I go home and have little energy left to clean, make dinner, do homework, talk to friends, etc. Small wonder I look forward to the weekend. Graduation, effective tomorrow, is in 96 more days and I'm super excited about it. Finally got to talk to my folks today and made plans for them to come up for the event. I need to schedule vacation days from work for graduation weekend, buy my books for next sub-term, send out the rest of my invites, and just get on top of things. I also I have my internship details to work out, but as of now it's on the back of my mind.

Still haven't be able to find a roommate, but I'm slowing coming to peace with it. My folks agreed to help out financially as long as I'm contributing what I can. Perhaps I need to be by myself for a few months. Regardless, I'm going to accept my situation roommate or not.

Today I walked one whole mile and proved to myself how out of shape I am. It showed me I need to make my health more of a priority so I'm going to try to walk everyday. Afterwards I did laundry, made dinner, and did some reading. It occurred to me I haven't written on the blog in a while so I'm jotting a random note here. Now I need to get back to homework. But I ask you, what are you working towards? It makes life much more interesting to have a goal.

Carried to the Table, by Leeland

I love this song; I'm performing to it for my recital.

Wounded and forsaken
I was shattered by the fall
Broken and forgotten
Feeling lost and all alone
Summoned by the King
Into the Master’s courts
Lifted by the Savior
And cradled in His arms

I was carried to the table
Seated where I don’t belong
Carried to the table
Swept away by His love
And I don’t see my brokenness anymore
When I’m seated at the table of the Lord
I’m carried to the table
The table of the Lord

Fighting thoughts of fear
And wondering why He called my name
Am I good enough to share this cup
This world has left me lame
Even in my weakness
The Savior called my name
In His Holy presence
I’m healed and unashamed

You carried me, my God
You carried me

Hum...

Today was bleh. I am trying to cling to Romans 8:28; that everything will work out in the end. Mostly I would love to go on an adventure--to the other side of the world, or go see Broadway, or go canoeing, or find opportunities to perform. And I want to randomly say I have awesome friends. Now I havta get on my homework.

Keeping the faith...

Just got back from a whirlwind weekend trip to see a friend in northern VA. I had a good time and got my nails done, bought some cute clothes on sale, shopped around the mall, ate at Panera, went to an itty bitty country church, played with dogs, and had a relaxing time overall. I'm happy I was able to go and see her again.

As of now, I'm kinda feeling discouraged and hoping things work out with my roommate situation and that I'll pass my classes so I can graduate. I feel like I've worked too hard and am too close to give up now. I think my mantra now is to just do the next thing. So I'm going to write my 28 verses on index cards, work my way down the list of stuff to do...and to try to trust that everything will work out.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Balance

While reading my previous post I was amused at my laments on how I was going to get everything done--and school hadn't even started yet. But I'm realizing the answer is: I won't. My friend calls me a workaholic and many times I'm at the office frantically feeling like I need to do "just one more thing". However I recall someone saying "don't fill your life with good things if you are going to miss the best". Highlights of my day? Seeing my friend in convo. Getting a hug from a returning student. The chance to step outside and feel the Arctic air. A beautiful hymn that calmed my soul. And the keen realization that life is short. This season of being a full time student and worker is teaching me about balance. I won't accomplish it all, but I can make room for the best.

So tonight I'm temporally ignoring some friends to make headway on my homework, make tomato soup, clean and go to bed early. Sleep. Ah the best. I also need to make my grocery list and clean out the refrigerator. Then Friday I'm going to visit a friend I have not seen for two years. It's been a while since I had a mini-vacation...uh Christmas doesn't count lol, seems so long ago already.

As the clock ticks...

my eyelids grow heavier and yet I fight to stay awake. The bills are stacked on a table, still unpaid. Days flip by on the calender and yet there are still school books to buy, laundry to put away, bills to pay, dishes to wash, and for some reason I don't feel like doing anything. It feels my efforts to do everything is at the expense of sleep and I just wish time could freeze for me. How is everything going to get done?

Voice of Truth

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are
by Casting Crowns