There is no other way to describe it. I can't stop thinking about the day I write the last page of a paper, and close the last book (figuratively). I am weary of school. And my job--honestly much as I appreciate it, isn't fulfilling. Many grandiose dreams of moving somewhere and starting over is beginning to appeal to me.
Before I decided to transfer colleges, I considered not completing my degree and going straight into the workforce. One such job I really wanted to do (and still do) was to be a nanny/governess. I was almost hired by a military couple in D.C. who had a 2 year boy and a newborn on the way. I would watch them 60 hours a week, have my own room, eat with the family, take them on outings, appointments, do light housekeeping and whatever else the job requested. I was so thrilled to be considered for the position, but at the last minute they decided not hire me.
I remember how disappointed I was--since it was my dream job and everything. In the end it was good because I ended up going to Liberty and obtained a job and the opportunity to finish my degree. So as it stands now, I will graduate with my Bachelor of Science degree in May. Will I stay for 2-3 more years and get my Masters? Honestly, I don't know. My dad thinks I should take advantage of it and it makes sense to me, but I am getting restless here. A part of me wants to take the diploma and move on.
So today I renewed my account with an agency that places candidates with families and posted that I was available in May 2009. I don't know if anything will come out of it, but I'm thinking that I should keep as many options open as I can. Also, I need to get certified for first aid and CPR since that will be beneficial regardless of whether or not I end up in this field.
Dreams. I still remember that quote, "It is not what you dream that determines what you become. It is what you do--everyday of your life." It is kind of exciting not knowing how this will turn out.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Yay for 24-hour grocery stores :)
I have spent most of the weekend, yesterday, and today working a paper that I was really struggling with finishing. It was past the deadline and I wanted to be done with it--which was compounded by the fact I became sick over the weekend and tried to get back to "normal" too.
I finally finished it today at the stroke of midnight. As I clicked "send" with one hand, my other hand slapped my forehead as I remembered I was responsible for making desert for tomorrow's (er...today's) office party. So I badgered my friend into joining me at the nearby 24-hour Kroger so I could responsibly satisfy every one's sweet tooth like I promised. I wanted the company to keep me awake and in case I ran into un-named persons whom I didn't wish to see. (You know who you are, and yes I wanted to see you...)
I finally bought everything and instead of putting the items away, I'm staring down the grocery bags hoping to scare the food into jumping in the refrigerator and cupboards by themselves. Hey, it worked for Mary Poppins. Bleh. How do I get myself into such predicaments?
Well thanks to the unsafe amounts of coffee I consumed while working on said paper, I'm very awake and should make my desert before these side effects wear off. I do need to get my sleep so I can work on the next research paper. O_o It never ends does it?
So good night...*squints at clock* uh I mean good morning...
I finally finished it today at the stroke of midnight. As I clicked "send" with one hand, my other hand slapped my forehead as I remembered I was responsible for making desert for tomorrow's (er...today's) office party. So I badgered my friend into joining me at the nearby 24-hour Kroger so I could responsibly satisfy every one's sweet tooth like I promised. I wanted the company to keep me awake and in case I ran into un-named persons whom I didn't wish to see. (You know who you are, and yes I wanted to see you...)
I finally bought everything and instead of putting the items away, I'm staring down the grocery bags hoping to scare the food into jumping in the refrigerator and cupboards by themselves. Hey, it worked for Mary Poppins. Bleh. How do I get myself into such predicaments?
Well thanks to the unsafe amounts of coffee I consumed while working on said paper, I'm very awake and should make my desert before these side effects wear off. I do need to get my sleep so I can work on the next research paper. O_o It never ends does it?
So good night...*squints at clock* uh I mean good morning...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Rest
I slept in this morning and woke up determined to have a great weekend. I puttered around the apartment and then drove over to one of my favorite clothing stores to window shop--not that I can buy anything, but it's always fun to look. It gives me ideas of how I can put outfits together in different ways. I know that sounds shallow, but it helps me to make the most of what I already have. After that I decided to treat myself to lunch since I don't go out to eat anymore. Amazing how many different looks people give you when you eat alone. I had Mexican food which is one of my favorites so I didn't really care. Now that I'm back I made three cups of coffee (ah warmth!) and feel really motivated to get stuff done--only I need to clean up around here so I can find what I'm looking for. Later I'm going grocery shopping to get some food for the week ahead.
I need to start working out more so I'm going to start easing into a routine of doing so this weekend. On a serious side, I am giving thought as to what I'm doing everyday to go after my dreams. Am I taking deliberate steps to get to where I want to go or am I just drifting? I do know that it is not what you dream that determines what you become-it is what you do everyday of your life.
I need to start working out more so I'm going to start easing into a routine of doing so this weekend. On a serious side, I am giving thought as to what I'm doing everyday to go after my dreams. Am I taking deliberate steps to get to where I want to go or am I just drifting? I do know that it is not what you dream that determines what you become-it is what you do everyday of your life.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Where are the Champions?
Recently Jerry Falwell Jr. sent a mass email to staff, faculty and students over the fact that students on campus were making derogatory remarks to those who supported the left-wing party for this year's election. Before I go any further, I want to make clear that I voted for neither party this year--so I don't have anything to gain by dissing one or supporting another.
However, what bothers me the most is not what Jerry requested us to do--to be respectful to both sides--I agree with that sentiment. What bothers me is what he didn't say. That just because we need to be respectful doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't stand up for our beliefs. Now it's hard to be quiet when you overhear a Liberty (?!) student say "I don't care how many more abortions we have. We made history today and I get to tell my grand kids about it!". It is all I can do to not say "Yeah you will--if those grand babies aren't killed first." In fact it may have been one those times to be "disrespectful". Do you not see the irony in that?
I doubt Falwell Sr. would have responded in the same way. He was know for standing his ground time after time even when the media and the world mocked him. The University is rapidly changing-amusements like indoor soccer fields and ski slopes are being built, we even now have a Democrats club, and enrollment keeps soaring since almost all students that apply become accepted. However, with all this growth and change, I still remember a verse from Proverbs: "Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set" (22:28). Change is not always a bad thing. I do ask that Liberty doesn't change so much that we lose sight of all the things we once stood for.
What did the university stand for? If I recalled correctly, it was Christ-centered men and women who were principled and had a strong work ethic. In the light of this election I haven't seen much of those things. Jerry's vision was that we would make a difference in the world and be "champions for Christ". The Bible says where there is no vision, the people perish. This vision though begins here on campus--in the small town of Lynchburg. If we cannot make a difference with the people God puts on our path every day, what hope do we have with the lost and unsaved world? Let us not lose our vision, lest we perish.
However, what bothers me the most is not what Jerry requested us to do--to be respectful to both sides--I agree with that sentiment. What bothers me is what he didn't say. That just because we need to be respectful doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't stand up for our beliefs. Now it's hard to be quiet when you overhear a Liberty (?!) student say "I don't care how many more abortions we have. We made history today and I get to tell my grand kids about it!". It is all I can do to not say "Yeah you will--if those grand babies aren't killed first." In fact it may have been one those times to be "disrespectful". Do you not see the irony in that?
I doubt Falwell Sr. would have responded in the same way. He was know for standing his ground time after time even when the media and the world mocked him. The University is rapidly changing-amusements like indoor soccer fields and ski slopes are being built, we even now have a Democrats club, and enrollment keeps soaring since almost all students that apply become accepted. However, with all this growth and change, I still remember a verse from Proverbs: "Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set" (22:28). Change is not always a bad thing. I do ask that Liberty doesn't change so much that we lose sight of all the things we once stood for.
What did the university stand for? If I recalled correctly, it was Christ-centered men and women who were principled and had a strong work ethic. In the light of this election I haven't seen much of those things. Jerry's vision was that we would make a difference in the world and be "champions for Christ". The Bible says where there is no vision, the people perish. This vision though begins here on campus--in the small town of Lynchburg. If we cannot make a difference with the people God puts on our path every day, what hope do we have with the lost and unsaved world? Let us not lose our vision, lest we perish.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Random Questions
A friend of mine posted a survey on her blog and it looked fun so I decided to repost it and see what answers I came up with.
Do you have an older sibling?
nope
How many kids do you want?
four
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
who knows?
Have you ever kissed anyone with a name starting with S?
if my mom counts, then yes
Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
no
You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
my ears?
You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
I am a chicken but I'll be ok with a temporary one on my ankle...poor dad.
What are you wearing?
Jeans and comfty hoody
Do you miss anyone?
yes friends and family...being alone sucks
When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
sunday school?
Have you ever touched an elephant?
noooo
Plans for tomorrow?
church and homework. what fun!
Anything hurting?
mah head
Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
more with mom than dad
Are any of your friends taller than you?
a few
What were you doing this morning at 8?
sleeping
What were you doing 10 minutes ago?
chattin on im
Do you like the ocean?
yeah...one of the things I miss about Florida.
Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
someone else, but I won't cuz I'm not married
How many windows are open on your computer?
three...a lot more at work tho ;)
How many myspace profiles have you had?
never...myspace is lame
When was the last time you cried?
I'm not going there.
Where did your last hug take place?
um...with Aimee?
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
the Dentist's office...wow I have a great social life...
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Aimee :)
Has anyone of the opposite sex told you they loved you?
no...and brothers do not count
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Aimee...the poor girl...
When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
Not going there either...
What woke you up this morning?
um don't know, just woke up
What color is your hair?
dark brown which my bro thinks is black
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
its been a few weeks...oh election day
Is your hair curly or straight?
curly and aggravating
Who did you last eat with and what?
myself and good ol' ramen
Do you wear glasses?
nope, I am so blessed
Are you currently jealous?
of whom? nah
What jewelery are you currently wearing?
a small ring on my pinkie finger, silver watch and purple necklace
What were you doing at 10 pm Friday night?
watching tv
Have you ever had your heart broken?
i don't know
Have you ever broken someones heart?
who knows? not that I try to or anything...
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Yes
One word on something you dislike about the day you're having.
Ansty.
What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
not saying
Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
yes.
How late did you stay up last night and why?
midnightish...was watching tv and talkin on im
Are you picky about who you give your number to?
yes
What do you prefer: Pizza Hut or Domino’s?
maybe Dominos...dunno
Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
Hawaii!!
Last time you walked further than a block?
yesterday
Did you have a good birthday this year?
yeah, it was my first one way from home tho...kinda bittersweet
Do horror movies actually horrify you?
I hate horror movies ><
If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
"Who told you to do this and how much did they pay you???"
Do you trust all of your friends?
Not all, but some.
Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Yes.
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
yes
Can you make a dollar in change right now?
no I am too poor lol
Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
I'm scared to answer this question...none I think.
Are you afraid of falling in love?
I don't know, it might be nice.
Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
No one in particular.
When was the last time you flew in a plane?
For Christmas last year...I love plane rides.
What did the last text message you sent say?
The library is closed...
What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Graduate, get a job I could be excited about, and hopefully get married and settle down.
If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
the parents
How many kids do you want to have?
did I answer this already? four
Would you make a good parent?
I think so.
Where was your default picture taken?
in my living room
Whats your middle name?
Frances.
Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
Fiddler on the Roof.
If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I don't want to dwell on past mistakes. What is done is done, just learn from it and keep moving forward.
Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
I haven't thought about it.
What are you wearing right now?
Jeans/hoodie
Righty or Lefty?
Lefty.
Best place to eat?
Olive Garden!!
Favorite jeans?
the boot cut ones
Have you had the chicken pox?
i think when i was a baby
Have you had a sore throat?
many times
Who knows you the best?
My brother
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
neither
Been to Mexico?
never
Did you buy something today?
fiddler on the roof! and ramen...
Did you get sick today?
no
Do you miss someone today?
yes :(
Did you get in a fight with someone today?
*sigh* no
When is the last time you had a massage?
gosh I can't remember...that is so sad lol
Last person to lay in your bed?
me
Last person to see you cry?
probably Aimee
Who made you cry?
not saying
What was the last TV show you watched?
The Cosby Show
What are your plans for the weekend?
church, homework, and try to do at least one fun thing...
Who do you think will repost this?
not sure.
Who was the last person you hung out with?
Aimee
If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
don't have one.
Do you have an older sibling?
nope
How many kids do you want?
four
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
who knows?
Have you ever kissed anyone with a name starting with S?
if my mom counts, then yes
Did anyone watch you the last time you kissed someone?
no
You have to get a facial piercing, what do you get?
my ears?
You have to get a tattoo, where and what do you get?
I am a chicken but I'll be ok with a temporary one on my ankle...poor dad.
What are you wearing?
Jeans and comfty hoody
Do you miss anyone?
yes friends and family...being alone sucks
When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
sunday school?
Have you ever touched an elephant?
noooo
Plans for tomorrow?
church and homework. what fun!
Anything hurting?
mah head
Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
more with mom than dad
Are any of your friends taller than you?
a few
What were you doing this morning at 8?
sleeping
What were you doing 10 minutes ago?
chattin on im
Do you like the ocean?
yeah...one of the things I miss about Florida.
Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
someone else, but I won't cuz I'm not married
How many windows are open on your computer?
three...a lot more at work tho ;)
How many myspace profiles have you had?
never...myspace is lame
When was the last time you cried?
I'm not going there.
Where did your last hug take place?
um...with Aimee?
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
the Dentist's office...wow I have a great social life...
Who was the first person you talked to today?
Aimee :)
Has anyone of the opposite sex told you they loved you?
no...and brothers do not count
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Aimee...the poor girl...
When was the last time you cried really, really hard?
Not going there either...
What woke you up this morning?
um don't know, just woke up
What color is your hair?
dark brown which my bro thinks is black
When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
its been a few weeks...oh election day
Is your hair curly or straight?
curly and aggravating
Who did you last eat with and what?
myself and good ol' ramen
Do you wear glasses?
nope, I am so blessed
Are you currently jealous?
of whom? nah
What jewelery are you currently wearing?
a small ring on my pinkie finger, silver watch and purple necklace
What were you doing at 10 pm Friday night?
watching tv
Have you ever had your heart broken?
i don't know
Have you ever broken someones heart?
who knows? not that I try to or anything...
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?
Yes
One word on something you dislike about the day you're having.
Ansty.
What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
not saying
Have you ever in anyway, been betrayed by someone you trust?
yes.
How late did you stay up last night and why?
midnightish...was watching tv and talkin on im
Are you picky about who you give your number to?
yes
What do you prefer: Pizza Hut or Domino’s?
maybe Dominos...dunno
Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
Hawaii!!
Last time you walked further than a block?
yesterday
Did you have a good birthday this year?
yeah, it was my first one way from home tho...kinda bittersweet
Do horror movies actually horrify you?
I hate horror movies ><
If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
"Who told you to do this and how much did they pay you???"
Do you trust all of your friends?
Not all, but some.
Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Yes.
Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
yes
Can you make a dollar in change right now?
no I am too poor lol
Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
I'm scared to answer this question...none I think.
Are you afraid of falling in love?
I don't know, it might be nice.
Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
No one in particular.
When was the last time you flew in a plane?
For Christmas last year...I love plane rides.
What did the last text message you sent say?
The library is closed...
What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
Graduate, get a job I could be excited about, and hopefully get married and settle down.
If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
the parents
How many kids do you want to have?
did I answer this already? four
Would you make a good parent?
I think so.
Where was your default picture taken?
in my living room
Whats your middle name?
Frances.
Honestly, whats on your mind right now?
Fiddler on the Roof.
If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
I don't want to dwell on past mistakes. What is done is done, just learn from it and keep moving forward.
Who was or will be the maid of honor/ best man in your wedding?
I haven't thought about it.
What are you wearing right now?
Jeans/hoodie
Righty or Lefty?
Lefty.
Best place to eat?
Olive Garden!!
Favorite jeans?
the boot cut ones
Have you had the chicken pox?
i think when i was a baby
Have you had a sore throat?
many times
Who knows you the best?
My brother
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
neither
Been to Mexico?
never
Did you buy something today?
fiddler on the roof! and ramen...
Did you get sick today?
no
Do you miss someone today?
yes :(
Did you get in a fight with someone today?
*sigh* no
When is the last time you had a massage?
gosh I can't remember...that is so sad lol
Last person to lay in your bed?
me
Last person to see you cry?
probably Aimee
Who made you cry?
not saying
What was the last TV show you watched?
The Cosby Show
What are your plans for the weekend?
church, homework, and try to do at least one fun thing...
Who do you think will repost this?
not sure.
Who was the last person you hung out with?
Aimee
If your significant other asked you to marry them TODAY what would you say?
don't have one.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Adulthood
Why is being an adult so disappointing? We spend our whole childhood looking forward to this mysterious stage in life where we can do what we want and go wherever we wish. Only we find out it doesn't exactly work that way. A lot of people still act like they did in high school-immature and self-centered.
Speaking for myself, I feel so stuck most days. All I ever do is work, sleep, and eat and I can't help but wonder if I left my best years behind me. In high school I was a leader of a community service club, a newsletter editor, a choir member, a team leader for my youth group, and a winner of several oratorical competitions which I really miss doing. My senior year I capped my high school career by placing 4th in the nation. Upon returning home the mayor asked me to be the guest speaker for the city's flag day ceremony. Those days were exciting. I felt like I was contributing and working towards great things.
Now? I'm just another adult in this great country that drives to and from work every day, fixes dinner, tries to stay awake to do homework, and goes to bed. Then repeats the same routine everyday for who knows how long. I want to do those big things I used to do. As a friend of mine said, "...it seems like adult life squelches the dreams of one's youth, but hopefully they can be rekindled".
Speaking for myself, I feel so stuck most days. All I ever do is work, sleep, and eat and I can't help but wonder if I left my best years behind me. In high school I was a leader of a community service club, a newsletter editor, a choir member, a team leader for my youth group, and a winner of several oratorical competitions which I really miss doing. My senior year I capped my high school career by placing 4th in the nation. Upon returning home the mayor asked me to be the guest speaker for the city's flag day ceremony. Those days were exciting. I felt like I was contributing and working towards great things.
Now? I'm just another adult in this great country that drives to and from work every day, fixes dinner, tries to stay awake to do homework, and goes to bed. Then repeats the same routine everyday for who knows how long. I want to do those big things I used to do. As a friend of mine said, "...it seems like adult life squelches the dreams of one's youth, but hopefully they can be rekindled".
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Blessings
In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I've been considering how much have to be grateful for. It never ceases to amaze me how good life is when I take the time to remind myself.
I have a job that lets me go to school, have a roof over my head, pay the bills, and provides me insurance to take care of my health.
I have a great car that gets me from point A to B and so far has been very reliable.
I've been blessed with friends who've been there in the good times and bad, and who have made me grow just from being around them.
In the south I have a family who are eager to see me for Christmas vacation and have every moment planned from the time I step off the plane.
I have landlords who have been more than patient with me when I couldn't pay rent upfront on rare occasions. And have been more than willing to help me even when I haven't asked for it.
I have a very patient and understanding boss who is flexible and willing to work with me.
I am one semester away from graduation--and from whatever is next.
I know I have a great future ahead of me and it is full of promise; many of my classmates from high school are still in the same town I left--I don't want to take the opportunities I have for granted or to waste them.
I have my faith which has sustained even in my hardest times.
I have heroes from the past and present that have gone before me and gave me a reason to dream big and live outside the box.
And to my readers, have a great Thanksgiving and never forget how much He has done for you.
I have a job that lets me go to school, have a roof over my head, pay the bills, and provides me insurance to take care of my health.
I have a great car that gets me from point A to B and so far has been very reliable.
I've been blessed with friends who've been there in the good times and bad, and who have made me grow just from being around them.
In the south I have a family who are eager to see me for Christmas vacation and have every moment planned from the time I step off the plane.
I have landlords who have been more than patient with me when I couldn't pay rent upfront on rare occasions. And have been more than willing to help me even when I haven't asked for it.
I have a very patient and understanding boss who is flexible and willing to work with me.
I am one semester away from graduation--and from whatever is next.
I know I have a great future ahead of me and it is full of promise; many of my classmates from high school are still in the same town I left--I don't want to take the opportunities I have for granted or to waste them.
I have my faith which has sustained even in my hardest times.
I have heroes from the past and present that have gone before me and gave me a reason to dream big and live outside the box.
And to my readers, have a great Thanksgiving and never forget how much He has done for you.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Memories
It surprises me how when I think about my growing up years that there are memories that I find more prominent than others. The things I remember most are not extravagant or overly emotional. It's the hum of the car lulling me to sleep under a star splattered sky. It's the small country church that found excuses almost every Sunday for a potluck dinner. It's the fishes that nibbled my toes at our lake. It's the beanbag chairs that cushioned the floor while we watched our favorite programs. It's the faint glow of candles illuminating faces on Christmas eve. It is all the sunsets and sunrises. It's the park visits, swimming pool, kids next door, Popsicle treats, nature walks, homemade brownies with ice cream, bonfires, last day of school...and I could go on.
Memories can hurt too it seems. They say time heals wounds which seems to be true until unexpected reminders appear. The ache and twinge returns along with the barrage of "what ifs?". And why? As the tears push their way to the surface and the ache deepens, you try to remember that just as life goes on, so should you. And to forgive once again. There is no simplistic formula, it's trying over and over again until hopefully one day the reminders don't work anymore. It's grasping the hand of God even if you're afraid.
Memories can hurt too it seems. They say time heals wounds which seems to be true until unexpected reminders appear. The ache and twinge returns along with the barrage of "what ifs?". And why? As the tears push their way to the surface and the ache deepens, you try to remember that just as life goes on, so should you. And to forgive once again. There is no simplistic formula, it's trying over and over again until hopefully one day the reminders don't work anymore. It's grasping the hand of God even if you're afraid.
He Died for Me
I love this hymn...
John Newton / Edwin O. Excell
I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agony and blood;
He fixed His languid eyes on me,
As near His cross I stood.
Sure, never, till my latest breath,
Can I forget that look:
It seemed to charge me with His death,
Tho' not a word He spoke.
My conscience felt and owned the guilt,
And plunged me in despair;
I saw my sins His blood had spilt
And helped to nail Him there.
Alas! I know not what I did,
But now my tears are vain:
Where shall my trembling soul be hid?
For I the Lord have slain.
A second look He gave, which said,
"I freely all forgive:
This blood is for thy ransom paid,
I die that thou may'st live."
Chorus:
Oh, can it be, upon a tree
The Savior died for me?
My soul is thrilled,
My heart is filled,
To think He died for me!
John Newton / Edwin O. Excell
I saw One hanging on a tree,
In agony and blood;
He fixed His languid eyes on me,
As near His cross I stood.
Sure, never, till my latest breath,
Can I forget that look:
It seemed to charge me with His death,
Tho' not a word He spoke.
My conscience felt and owned the guilt,
And plunged me in despair;
I saw my sins His blood had spilt
And helped to nail Him there.
Alas! I know not what I did,
But now my tears are vain:
Where shall my trembling soul be hid?
For I the Lord have slain.
A second look He gave, which said,
"I freely all forgive:
This blood is for thy ransom paid,
I die that thou may'st live."
Chorus:
Oh, can it be, upon a tree
The Savior died for me?
My soul is thrilled,
My heart is filled,
To think He died for me!
How to win friends and influence people
Dale Carnegie wrote such a book a few decades ago and it should be a required course in high schools in my opinion. When I think about it 99% of problems we have stems from people. Breakdowns in communication, tempers, annoyances, and other issues begin with people. I am having some problems with resolving some disagreements and am trying to figure out how to best approach it. This doesn't include the other stuff on my mind like how I am going to take 14 credit hours of school while working full-time next semester. Now that I'm thinking about it what energy drinks are most effective?
peace
For one of my classes I had to share what helped me grow in my faith. I can think of many things: memorizing scripture, praying, Bible reading, church attendance, fellowship with Christian friends, tithing, etc. But the one that has helped me the most is the hymns I have memorized. A few years ago I came across an old hymnal at a library sale which I bought and memorized throughout the years. One of my favorite things about hymns is how many of them are almost word for word identical to verses in the Bible. The Bible promises that his Word will not return void, and many times in my hardest circumstances, I would remember a hymn that gave me comfort or strength.
An example was my sophomore year of college. I was at a really strict school and I worked on campus 25 hours a week to help pay for my studies. My co-worker and I were harassed by a married man who worked there. In the end when I finally reported it, I was interrogated for hours multiple times, and told not to tell anyone. Since I didn't have any proof I was accused of lying about it--and the penalty for that was expulsion. My coworker was in her last semester of school was a risk of getting expelled too since I reported for both of us. I was never so scared, stressed, alone, and drained as I was that week. The next day when I walked to work, not knowing what to expect I then remembered a hymn out of the blue. A part of it is:
Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm
Ah, soul! are you here without comfort and rest,
Marching down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your Friend ere the shadows grow dark;
O accept of this peace so sublime!
Remember those words just gave me an incredible calm and peace. In the end he was moved to another department, but it was one of many reasons why I transferred to Liberty. I often find when other people are struggling I don't know what to say, but I often know what to sing. The Bible says we are to sing to one other as a means of encouragement and that is very rare to find from my experience. One of my favorite verses is from Job when he just received the most devastating news. He arose, shaved his head, rent his mantle, and fell upon the ground and worshiped. No matter what happens around us, God wants to hear us sing.
An example was my sophomore year of college. I was at a really strict school and I worked on campus 25 hours a week to help pay for my studies. My co-worker and I were harassed by a married man who worked there. In the end when I finally reported it, I was interrogated for hours multiple times, and told not to tell anyone. Since I didn't have any proof I was accused of lying about it--and the penalty for that was expulsion. My coworker was in her last semester of school was a risk of getting expelled too since I reported for both of us. I was never so scared, stressed, alone, and drained as I was that week. The next day when I walked to work, not knowing what to expect I then remembered a hymn out of the blue. A part of it is:
Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm
Ah, soul! are you here without comfort and rest,
Marching down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your Friend ere the shadows grow dark;
O accept of this peace so sublime!
Remember those words just gave me an incredible calm and peace. In the end he was moved to another department, but it was one of many reasons why I transferred to Liberty. I often find when other people are struggling I don't know what to say, but I often know what to sing. The Bible says we are to sing to one other as a means of encouragement and that is very rare to find from my experience. One of my favorite verses is from Job when he just received the most devastating news. He arose, shaved his head, rent his mantle, and fell upon the ground and worshiped. No matter what happens around us, God wants to hear us sing.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
time is vapor
I need to go to the bank, grocery shop, drop books off at the library, and finish some homework. I want to make muffins which I'll do after I get up from this couch. If I could I'd share em with my loyal readers. :) I am very tired and looking forward to the upcoming holidays. The weekends go by waaaay to fast.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
My Life Philosophy
There are worse things.
This is one of my favorite sayings. Unfortunately, I didn't invent it. My brother has reminded me of it frequently until it was permanently lodged in my bitty brain. I believe it (though I don't always feel it) to be completely true. Why? Is it even Biblical? And to that I say, yes. Yes, because nothing...absolutely nothing can compare to what Christ went through in his life and ultimately on the cross. The worst thing that can ever happen, did happen to Him.
We feel the pang of loneliness; God turned his back on him.
People wound us with their words; A spear was thrust in His side.
We struggle with forgetting the past; He knew all--past, present and future--imagine the weight and agony of that knowledge!
Tears threaten our masked faces; He had sweat-drops of blood.
Desire for revenge stirs in us; He whispered "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do".
At Calvary by M.H.
Calvary covers it all,
We cheerfully and loudly sing.
But, lest we ever forget...
What happened in Gethsemane,
Let's walk along the way of sorrows,
Among the blood spilled ground.
Can you see the hands--our hands--
that thrust the thorns in His brow?
Can you hear the cries of Mary
as she falls, weeping, on the ground?
Can you feel the whips,
that tore through his skin?
Can watch Him rise,
only to fall once again?
Can you hear the screams of Jesus,
as His beard was ripped from His face?
Can you realize it was MY sin...
that brought Him this disgrace.
But as the old hymn whispers:
My sin! Oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross,
And I bear it no more...
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!
Oh, my soul!
Indeed, there are worse things. What a mighty God--who can turn the worst thing into something wonderful for all mankind!
This is one of my favorite sayings. Unfortunately, I didn't invent it. My brother has reminded me of it frequently until it was permanently lodged in my bitty brain. I believe it (though I don't always feel it) to be completely true. Why? Is it even Biblical? And to that I say, yes. Yes, because nothing...absolutely nothing can compare to what Christ went through in his life and ultimately on the cross. The worst thing that can ever happen, did happen to Him.
We feel the pang of loneliness; God turned his back on him.
People wound us with their words; A spear was thrust in His side.
We struggle with forgetting the past; He knew all--past, present and future--imagine the weight and agony of that knowledge!
Tears threaten our masked faces; He had sweat-drops of blood.
Desire for revenge stirs in us; He whispered "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do".
At Calvary by M.H.
Calvary covers it all,
We cheerfully and loudly sing.
But, lest we ever forget...
What happened in Gethsemane,
Let's walk along the way of sorrows,
Among the blood spilled ground.
Can you see the hands--our hands--
that thrust the thorns in His brow?
Can you hear the cries of Mary
as she falls, weeping, on the ground?
Can you feel the whips,
that tore through his skin?
Can watch Him rise,
only to fall once again?
Can you hear the screams of Jesus,
as His beard was ripped from His face?
Can you realize it was MY sin...
that brought Him this disgrace.
But as the old hymn whispers:
My sin! Oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross,
And I bear it no more...
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!
Oh, my soul!
Indeed, there are worse things. What a mighty God--who can turn the worst thing into something wonderful for all mankind!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)