Alone. I'm sitting on my bed, watching the kitten breathe in and out, his little chest rising and falling. His eyes are squished shut like a little old Chinese man. He seems so happy and yet all he does is eat and sleep. What I would give to have a life like that...And as I beg God to pursue me, and keep me from doing something stupid that would wreck havoc on the rest of my life, I'm trying to pull myself together.
Pensive. I'm thinking though too many things and trying to calm my racing heart. Trying to remind myself to be still. And just to take things one day at a time. That somehow everything will get done--and if not, it won't be the end of the world.
Amused. Yesterday, a girl I babysat dropped her sandwich in her cup of water, let it soak and promptly drank out of it before I or anyone else could stop her. Aghast I asked, "Why did you do THAT?" She replied, "cuz I wanted to!" Well duh, good reason as any. But what would I do if, like her, I didn't care what people thought? An interesting thing to speculate.
Perspective. I also rode the bus yesterday, which I do two or three times week. And I've noticed, riding the bus changes the way I look at the city around me. I feel more like a visitor, a tourist. Here for a just sojourn--passing through instead of being someone who left her hometown, family, and friends to move here. I notice the old buildings, people relaxing on their front porches. I see a lady driving a fancy, yellow bug with a black top. She sports an obviously artificial tan and pulls out a cigarette as the bus turns in the opposite direction. I notice how lethargic the passengers seem and how hurried the outside world is in contrast. Conversations banter around though I don't join in, but I find myself leisurely running through my to do list. The moment I step off though, my little brain perks up and wants to get back into the grind. Eh, how I dislike being a grownup at times.
Wonderful Peace
Far away in the depths of my spirit tonight
Rolls a melody sweeter than psalm;
In celestial strains it unceasingly falls
O’er my soul like an infinite calm.
Refrain
Peace, peace, wonderful peace,
Coming down from the Father above!
Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray
In fathomless billows of love!
What a treasure I have in this wonderful peace,
Buried deep in the heart of my soul,
So secure that no power can mine it away,
While the years of eternity roll!
Refrain
I am resting tonight in this wonderful peace,
Resting sweetly in Jesus’ control;
For I’m kept from all danger by night and by day,
And His glory is flooding my soul!
Refrain
And I think when I rise to that city of peace,
Where the Anchor of peace I shall see,
That one strain of the song which the ransomed will sing
In that heavenly kingdom will be:
Refrain
Ah, soul! are you here without comfort and rest,
Marching down the rough pathway of time?
Make Jesus your Friend ere the shadows grow dark;
O accept of this peace so sublime!
