Memories

It surprises me how when I think about my growing up years that there are memories that I find more prominent than others. The things I remember most are not extravagant or overly emotional. It's the hum of the car lulling me to sleep under a star splattered sky. It's the small country church that found excuses almost every Sunday for a potluck dinner. It's the fishes that nibbled my toes at our lake. It's the beanbag chairs that cushioned the floor while we watched our favorite programs. It's the faint glow of candles illuminating faces on Christmas eve. It is all the sunsets and sunrises. It's the park visits, swimming pool, kids next door, Popsicle treats, nature walks, homemade brownies with ice cream, bonfires, last day of school...and I could go on.

Memories can hurt too it seems. They say time heals wounds which seems to be true until unexpected reminders appear. The ache and twinge returns along with the barrage of "what ifs?". And why? As the tears push their way to the surface and the ache deepens, you try to remember that just as life goes on, so should you. And to forgive once again. There is no simplistic formula, it's trying over and over again until hopefully one day the reminders don't work anymore. It's grasping the hand of God even if you're afraid.