Musings

I was talking with a friend today about how we would like to get married someday, but that there seems to be a shortage of "good" guys in the world except for our brothers. And we wondered how much of getting married is our responsibility and how much of it is God's doing? Obviously He's not going to plop the poor soul on my doorstep though He sorta did that to Eve. Only in reverse. My guess is that our responsibility is to avoid being hermits and put ourselves in positions where we'll meet people and trust Him to do the rest.

Sometimes I get discouraged, and think that no man could ever want me, that I'll be single for the rest of my life. Depressing as that is, I remember a pastor stating to college students, "Be the right one, and the right one will come along". So am I?

Is my tongue "the law of kindness"? My sarcasm probably disqualifies me here. Am I punctual? Not always, which means no. Do I do everything heartly, for the Lord? No, I care what people think too much. Am I faithful? Do I see things through, no matter the cost? *sigh* Do I love others, even if I'm not loved in return? I try. Am I modest, and try to keep other men's minds pure even when they look on me? Well I don't dress like I did at PCC. I am tempted to flaunt. But the hardest question, am I doing him good now, even before I meet him? All the days of my life? Lord help, I want to so badly but I fall short.

So where does that put me? It means I need to focus on three things: to seek God with all my heart, to serve others, and to trust Him. And to also not just set high standards for myself, but to expect the same of him. One poem I read says:

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike, you have questioned me.
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,
I require a far greater thing;
A seamstress you're wanting for your socks and shirt--
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home;
And a man that his Maker, God,
Shall look upon as He did on the first
And say "It is very good".

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young cheek one day;
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did on the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean, so strong and true,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give this all, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.
by Lena Lathrop

So anyone with years of experience or wisdom that can chip in his two cents here?