Gah...

I really need to get more organized. It's terrible how lethargic I have gotten about my responsibilities. My dream job is to teach, but do I have what it takes to manage a classroom of 20+ students when I'm barely scraping by in life right now? I am pretty sure if I continue and do all the work and get high marks, I'll pass my courses...but gosh it will be cutting it close. As of now I've told my friends to not talk to me until this whole thing is all over. I am sleep-deprived, poor, stressed, and my face is breaking out all over which it never has done before. But if there is one thing I have learned it is this: I will never have it altogether. Nor will I ever be perfect. I will do my best, yes, but if I fail to do so I'll try not to beat myself up; instead I'll try to get up, keep going and try harder. The Lord knows I have so much room for improvement, but He's not done with me yet. I have hope that I can get better and become the person I'm meant to be.

My motivation now is the black robe, tassel and red stole hanging on my coat rack. It's the faces of my family staring back at me from my coffee table. It's the friends that have come along side me to cheer me on. Mostly though, its the unknown kids that I dream of someday getting to teach.