Why???

I seem to handle things as well as a tangled web--trip over just one line until before I know it I'm smothered underneath the wispy strands. I hate being the bad guy, but why can't people realize that when I actually do speak up about something it really bothers me? At the risk of sounding like a teenager--like really.

I did go away for a weekend, enjoyed myself, learned a lot, and had a great time. Now that I'm back I'm trying not to drown under the emails I have to answer at work and the homework I need to do. And I'm worried about finances. For few days I've been worth a negative balance, but payday has come and gone and my mind is trying to split the money I now have into neat categories: rent, insurance, food, gas, credit card, tithe... Problem is trying to make it stretch that far. Maybe money needs to be made out of spandex instead of paper. Sorry for that random detour.

And I don't think I'm eating enough. I've been trying to track the foods I do eat and often barely reach the 1,000 calorie mark. Considering I'm supposed to have at least 1,500 a day I don't think that's enough. For example today I had two small muffins and hot tea for breakfast, a ham/cheese sandwich with apple juice for lunch, and rice with bread and butter for dinner. There doesn't seem to be a lot of substance in my diet, but I can't seem to work up an appetite for anything. Regardless I become full very quickly; on the way back my group stopped at Subway, where I got a 6" sandwich with a glass of water. It looked so pitiful next to the footlong sandwich, potato chips, soda, and cookies the girl next to me had. I felt full after eating just half of mine but I made myself eat the rest anyways.

I'm also considering making an appointment (once I have the money) at UVA to see if I could be a candidate for a cochlear implant. Not that I will per se, but I am curious to know one way or another.

I'm really tired all of sudden. It's been a long day and I'm going to bed.