My last entry was, admittedly, very depressing. Not long after I posted it, I went for a walk to my secret place and spent an hour there just singing and thinking. I talked to a friend on IM, cleaned my room, and prayed some. I then couldn't remember what the heck I was so upset or sad about. How often do I forget that when I'm down in the dumps, if I would just go outside, talk to someone, and pray I'll feel better? My 22nd birthday is this week and I want this to be the year I grow stronger in my faith and take more risks. Lest I become too harsh on myself, I do need to admit that I've grown and changed a lot over the past year--hopefully for the better. A verse that keeps running in my head is David's plea to God in Ps. 139: "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." That is my desire for my 22nd year of my little life: that I would continue to seek Him and follow Him all of my days.
Search Me, O God
Search me, O God, and know my heart today,
Try me, O Savior, know my thoughts, I pray;
See if there be some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from every sin, and set me free.
I praise Thee, Lord, for cleansing me from sin;
Fulfill Thy word and make me pure within;
Fill me with fire, where once I burned with shame;
Grant my desire to magnify Thy name.
Lord, take my life, and make it wholly Thine;
Fill my poor heart with Thy great love divine;
Take all my will, my passion, self and pride;
I now surrender, Lord, in me abide.
O Holy Ghost, revival comes from Thee;
Send a revival, start the work in me;
Thy Word declares Thou wilt supply our need;
For blessings now, O Lord, I humbly plead.
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